Joker’s Bear Ribs

Joker “Bear Ribs”  ( Cabin in the woods recipe interpretation by Queen Beav)

John Jackson
John Jackson / @pvtjokerus
  1.       One lost California Tourist looking for the” Yellow Stone” ranch.
  2.       Two Grande Starbuck Soy Lattes for lost tourist bait (or Pumpkin Spice if available)
  3.       One full picnic basket (Yogi method) 
  4.       Duct tape or twine (to calm down tourist)
  5.       One bottle of Macallan 25-year-old reserve
  6.       One big ass gun
  7.       1 dead Bear
  8.       All the spices you own (use generously)
  9.       1 gallon tabasco sauce

Ingredients 1-3, not necessary but adds Yellow Stone experience. (Self-explanatory and utilization of imagination. Personal preference.)

Ingredient 4, optional but could be useful.

Ingredient 5 self-explanatory as well. Generous pours do not use ice. Repeat as necessary, especially when skinning and processing the dead bear.

Ingredient 6   DUH

If still sober: release tourist ( optional)

Take Bear ribs, throw in a pot, dump all spices you own on top, add a gallon of tabasco sauce.

Cook the living crap out of them over medium heat for 1 day. Skim nasty grease off the top of the pot occasionally. Dispose in a coffee can and bury.

If still sober, repeat ingredient 5

 Wait on the porch of the cabin for someone who likes bear ribs. ( back up option) Force feed the tourist ” bear ribs” if not released.